Humor
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.