Humor
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
If you want to get mental damage, visit the site:
https://schlechtewitze.com
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
Yo mama so ugly!
The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.