Humor

What kind of bees eat brains?

Zombees.

What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?

The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.

your mom

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

My cock was in the book of world records...

The librarian told me to take it out.

yes

The image shows a close-up of an anime character with yellow hair and pink cheeks looking down. The text above the character reads, "When you called shotgun but the kidnapper still put you in the trunk."

Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"

Jimmy: "That's great!"

Doctor: "A horse with cancer."

What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.

Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?

Because it is a family company. 😂 😂

What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?

Mike said: I don’t know, what?

Jon said: Kinder surprise.

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.

These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.