Humor
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
Why is willb103 so funny?!!
Because he made the joke home page!!!
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
What did the man say to his wife? "Make me a damn sandwich, woman!"