Humor
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
Sans: Hey Frisk, why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Frisk: Why didn't he go to the dance?
Sans: 'Cause he had no body to dance with!
You guys are cow-medians!
So funny!
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
Oh no Oh no oh no no no no wait wait wait
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pants?
BOO-TY JEANS!
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
Yo mama so fat that when she pooped, poop exploded everywhere!
I would like to make a Minecraft joke...
It would be too plain.
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
How do booties greet each other?
"What's crackin'?"
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up!
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?