Humor
Why did Adam commit suicide? Andy went through the back door.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Memes
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma bum crack!
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.
Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"