Humor

What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?

The robot.

Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

What is an orphan's favorite beer?

"Fosters."

My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

We never met again.

I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.

What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?

Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)

What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

Why did the emo kid not cross the road?

He was waiting for a car.

Orphan jokes are just hurtful, and that is all they are, so please stop.

Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"

Student: "I'm not going."

Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.

Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."

My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?

A. Prankenstein.

What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.

These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."