Humor
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snow balls.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
crazy anal sex
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?
Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
"Knock knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.