Humor

You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

You: Uhhhhhhh

Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

You: Thank God.

Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

You: *faints*

What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.

How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.

Orphan joke protest idea.

What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.

This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.

Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.

Yo mama's so fat, there's not enough yo mama's so fat jokes to tell how fat she is.

Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)

I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.

It didn't land well.

What do you call a surprised Chinese man?

Ho Lee Fuk.

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ligma.

Ligma who?

Ligma bum crack!

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.

Professor Poopypants!!!

A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?

Yu.

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?

"What's up?"

What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? 🤨

Me: What?

The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.