Humor
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂
Jokes are like people. Some don't like the dark ones.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!