Humor
I killed a homeless dude, now he's at funeral home 😭💔
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Someone: Hey, are you a skeleton?
A skeleton: Of course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans!
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.
Ligma.
Balls.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
That moment when you poop 😂
Imposter: Did you do Sawcon task?
Crewmate: What's Sawcon?
Imposter: Sawcon deez nuts!
Why did Johnny drop his pencil?
To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
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