Humor
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”
Tried a random comic generator. Half of the ai generated comics don’t make sense, but the other half…
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?
Dad: Ask your sister.
Daughter: But I don't have a sister.
Dad: Exactly.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
These gags are killing me!
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
Chuck Norris can make Minute Maid lemonade in 5 seconds.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.