Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? - Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
What do u call a white person having a seizure
A vanilla shake
When i get naked in the shower it gets turned on
What's the difference between hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Q: What's the difference between a hispanic and stoner?
A: Stoners have papers
Did yk that you can die from laughing??? Well that’s why I laugh so much
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, theres a spider. The blind man simply said. "Step on it".
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? Thanks for coming😉😉
Why did Ms Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles.
I put the sexy in dyslexia
Police: Where Do You Live? Blonde: With My Parents Police: Where Does Your Parents Live? Blonde: With Me Police: Where Do You All Live? Blonde: Together Police: Where Is Your House? Blonde: Next To My Neighbors House Police: Where Is Your Neighbors House? Blonde: If I Tell You, You Won't Believe Me. Police: Tell Me. Blonde: Next To My House.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a pinata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
