A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
so i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
2 friends are talking and the one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The Friend says, "I was in my car."
Man walks up to a priest. The man says "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says "No you are not my son." The man says " Follow me." The man walks into the bar and the bartender says "Jesus Christ your back!"
what has three balls and flys through space?
E.T. the extra testicle
What is Stephen Hawking' favourite song
Head shoulders screws and bolts
I would roast you but you don’t have any meat!
Why can't an orphan be gay?? Because they don't have anyone to call daddy ( My bad if this offended anyone)
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
I got sent to the principals office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels
Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
