Humor
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and The Statue Of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty stands for something! 😂
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
Roses are red, violets are blue.
These jokes are old, come up with something new!
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”