It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur and the rabbit says no So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights
they are both going to be hanging from a tree
What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.
Chuck Norris one put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny? The punchline isn’t apparent.
Why can't an orphan be gay?? Because they don't have anyone to call daddy ( My bad if this offended anyone)
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
look in the mirror there's a joke for you
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"
What did the rapist say to his victim. Go ahead call the police we will see who comes first.
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One's got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
What do you call a drunk depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven
