Humor
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.