A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
It must be not a good suicide story if you can tell it.
How to tell if your depressed? You came to a website called worst jokes ever . com looking for a quick smile.
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes.. bro it's not that deep
A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
Girls are like math if there under ten then you use your fingers
My friend while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: You're priceless When we get to the checkout: I'm actually $2.50
I tried to get my bloood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, what's so sad and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's head before they died". I replied "probably a bullet", she gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is, what do you think is running through their parent's heads", I said " probably all the money their losing from this funeral".
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said "The Mail Man died".
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. he said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?
sticks and stones may break my bones but a crowbar could do it so much quicker
So we all know that old kids joke why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11
