Humor

I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

Immigration jokes just cross the line.

What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?

Coldplay.

What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

Stephen Hawking walked into a bar. Just kidding :(

The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.

My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...

...I told him to lighten up.

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Sonic can run around the world in a second.

In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?

Finger-food.

So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.

Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A vanilla shake.

The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.