Humor
Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones.
Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
Suck my dick!
(Ron Jeremy)
Family be like:
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
What do you call an Asian that was born too early?
Wong Tai Ming.
Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
What do you call an abo with a shotgun?
Sir.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
Eggs
You crack me up!