Humor
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.
You're so ugly, that's why me and your hairline go far back.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
Why this true though
Sad life goes, joke mom.
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Prankster pranks.
Fake lobster in the toilet. 8:00 a.m.
Prank phone calls. 9:00 a.m.