New Humor - Page 33 - Worst Jokes Ever

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?

A Konichiuahua.

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?

Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

What's WWE called in Africa?

Shadow fight.

All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.

Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?

Because she was straight into Jesus.

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.

I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?

Floor 44.

What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?

With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?

Pigs in a blanket.

So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."