Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?

Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.

I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.