Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.

Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.

What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?

DeterMIENATION

Yo mama so fat that when she pooped, poop exploded everywhere!

I told my fam a joke.

They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"

What makes 9/11 an inside job?

Someone started calling it 10/7.

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.