Humor

I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem.

What makes 9/11 an inside job?

Someone started calling it 10/7.

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?

A: Because they're intended for a young audience.

The other day, I stumbled upon a comic strip in the newspaper. As I started reading, I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. The characters were so relatable, their situation so absurd, yet so familiar, it was impossible not to find it amusing.

The punchline was unexpected, yet it made perfect sense within the context of the story. It was that surprise, that sudden twist, that made me burst out laughing. It was as if the comic strip had set up a joke and I had walked right into it, completely unsuspecting. The laughter bubbled up from within me, a spontaneous reaction to the unexpected humor.

In that moment, I realized the power of humor. It's not just about making people laugh. It's about bringing joy, about making people see the world from a different perspective, even if just for a moment. And that's why I found that comic strip so funny. It wasn't just a joke, it was a moment of joy, a moment of surprise, a moment of seeing the world in a different light.

I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.

What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

What number is better than 69?

88 'cause you get ate twice.

What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?

A seizure salad.

I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.