Humor
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What's red and sits in the corner?
A baby chewing on a razor blade.
What's green and sits in the corner?
Same baby, one week later.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
Jesus Christ does exist, he does, and he is the son of God... a God that doesn't exist XD
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To check out the chicks!
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
These are meannnnn.
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because he looked like me.
Sans: Sure.
Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?
A: Just kitten!
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.