Humor

Them: You want some Lucky Harms?

Me: What are Lucky Harms?

Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.

Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.

I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.

So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.

Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.

Sans: I am doing something.

Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?

Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.

Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.

Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.

What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”

Reply back with “Because you were born.”

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.

To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.

PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.

Why am I so sad?

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.

Dad: Hey, have you seen that new movie, "Constipation"?

Son: No.

Dad: It hasn't come out yet.

Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.

If you thought other puns were bad, wait till you sea mine.

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.