Humor
My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
What a skeleton baked for the other skeleton.
A pa_pıe_rus.
You are.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?