Humor
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
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What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
I don't think jokes are very funny.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
DEEZ NUTS
GOTTEM!
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!