Humor
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had no-BODY to go with!
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
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What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
I don't think jokes are very funny.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
DEEZ NUTS
GOTTEM!