Humor

Why is the Reaper not funny at all?

Well, he tells dead jokes!

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?

Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?

Hgftyhbcfghhgg

Vvbggcvhhhgvvhhhgvbjhhbnhhbnjbbjbbhhbj

What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.

I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)

What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?

"You are a consequence of rape!"

Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!

Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)

Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!

Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.

Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!

Teacher: Where’s the P?

Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

Person: I broke my arm in three places.

Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.

What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"

What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

The trom-BONE!

P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.

What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?

Ben or Chris?

When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."