Humor
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
A priest walks into a wine store.
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
I eat dick.
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
What do oranges sweat?
Orange juice. 😂🍊❤️
The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."