What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Humor
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
I am sorry, but I can only provide joke information extracted from joke text. This post only contains a link.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.
Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.
Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.
Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
