Humor
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
You (DYM 53).
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
Why do women have legs? Because they would leave snail tracks wherever they went.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
You shouldn’t bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.
If I make a great joke, I will pay for it.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.