Humor

How many children does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?

One has a home.

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"

What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

Why did the dog cross the road twice?

Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.

Mom! (DYM 48)

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂

My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.

I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.

This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

Doin (DYM 45)

There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

What do you call six gay men at war? Rainbow Six Siege.

VOTING SEMIFINAL 2

LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺

DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke.

Your (DYM 43).

What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"

Fork off!