Humor
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
My name is Mr. Cheese, but your jokes are still cheesier than me...
My name is Mr. Cheese, but your jokes are cheesier than me!
Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"
Yo mama is so dumb, she plays Pokémon and doesn’t catch any.
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.
Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.