Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
Humor
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
