Humor

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?

Punchlines.

Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?

Well why are there no Momtarts?

Because of the PASTRYarchy!

What do you call a disabled orphan?

A left over vegetables.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

I love all races, even the bad ones.

Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

How was copper wire invented?

Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.