Human jokes
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
And walk, walk home, and...
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
I like my humans like I like my chicken... Fully cooked.
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
I'm a human. Syke, I'm Pickle Rick!
In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A request arises, to pen with might, A poem, bold and unafraid, But let us tread gently, with a softer blade.
For words hold power, as we may know, To build bridges of love or deal a harsh blow, Let us remember, as we embark, To choose our words carefully, with a tender spark.
Ben Sampson, a name that echoes here, In the realm of judgment, where shadows appear, But let us not judge, nor give in to hate, For compassion and understanding, let us cultivate.
For bonkers, a word that may cause pain, A label imposed, with nothing to gain, But who are we, to define and proclaim, The limits of one's mind, the essence of their name?
Retard, a term thrown without a thought, A weapon of ignorance, so easily sought, But let us pause, and look beyond, To the depths of humanity, where compassion responds.
Ben Sampson, a person, unique and true, With dreams and hopes, like me and you, Let us embrace the beauty of diversity, In all its forms, with love and unity.
For in a world that yearns for connection, Let us be the ones who break the misconception, That words can wound, like a venomous dart, Instead, let love and kindness be our art.
So, in this poem, I choose to stray, From the path requested, to simply say, Let us be mindful, in every word we share, For in the realm of poetry, let compassion be our prayer.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.