Human jokes
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
I like my humans like I like my chicken... Fully cooked.
It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:
Bullys are depressed.
Nerds are depressed.
Bad girls/boys are depressed.
Kind humans are depressed.
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"
What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
"I created the Human Torch."
What do you call a magic car?
A human.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
you.
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
What do you call a tall person?
A tall person.
Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......
Human: :D
Sun: I want to BuRn you.........
Human: .......
Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....
Human: I should be going now.
Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!
Human: *Screams his last sound*