Hows jokes
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
OK, so Kenya and Kariah are both orphans that hate orphan jokes, so how about we make a joke out of them!
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!