Hows jokes
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Memes
You are the special
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
I once saw a noose joke.
I wanna know how to make one :D
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
How to not exist: Kys.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.