Hows jokes
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.