Hows jokes
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
How can you tell an Asian guy is awake?
You can never tell.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.