Hows jokes
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?
Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.