Hows jokes
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Memes
You are the special
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
I once saw a noose joke.
I wanna know how to make one :D
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
How do you call a cute door?
A-door-able.
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?