Hows jokes
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
Im so special
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?