Hows

Hows jokes

Woman

    • So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

    The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

    After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

  • 1

    • People

    • How sad and pathetic is it that all you wait for after you finish a suicidal joke is for people to like your joke, but you know you'll just be a failure at that as well?

  • 3

    • Idiot

    • Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

  • 3
    • Hows memes

    Chat

    • Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.

    Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?

    Stranger 1: You can't!

    Stranger 2: You can.

    Stranger 3: How?

    Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.

    Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?

    Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.

    Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-

    (The chat has been closed by stranger 1)

  • 1

    • Chicken

    • *WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

    What came first? The chicken or the egg?

    Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

    Who taught the first ever teacher?

    If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

    If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

    In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

    Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

    How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

    The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

    Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

    Is it possible to cry underwater?

    If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

    I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

    Insult

    • 1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

  • 1

    • Racism

    • Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

  • 2