Hows Jokes

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

This is how my mom always threatens me: I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too. That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

How do you think the unthinkable? With an ithberg.

How do you get a Koala to fall asleep? Sing a koala-by.

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true and then the person is a victim for sure.

I like my women how I like my wine.

14 years aged and locked in a cellar.

Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?

A. By using her equal strength

how did stephen hawking die?

they unplugged the wifi

What did the little boy say to the fat man?

How many Japs did you get?

A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree He now knew how the Mercedes bends

How do orphans have a family Reunion They use a Ouija board

A kid asks hims mom "mom how much do you love me" the mother responds with "i love you as much as i love your brother" the kid looks confused and says "but i don't have a brother" the mother smiles and says "well i guess my love is not existing

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute but how was I supposed to know she never told me.

I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful