Hows jokes

How do you make an emo jump?

A cliff.

How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?

He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!

Why was baptism invented?

How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?

Q: How do you know a wishing well works?

A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?

Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

How do you find out if your kid is gay?

Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.

My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.

How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.

How did the black woman name her 4 babies?

Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.

How did she differentiate them?

She called them by their last names.

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.

How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.

It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?

Sing a koala-by.

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

Lord: "My dog died?!"

Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

I like my women how I like my wine.

14 years aged and locked in a cellar.