Hows jokes
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
cant talk..
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"