Hows jokes
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
cant talk..
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"