Hows jokes
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
Memes
cant talk..
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.