Hows jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Memes
cant talk..
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’