Hows jokes
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"