Hows jokes
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Memes
how fun
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.