I went to my sister room one day. I see a trophy, so I ask my sister how did you won this trophy my sister said to me the neighbors gave it to me because I gave out the best hand jobs in the neighbor. I guess my sister put her hands in good use.
How is slavery different from Pokémon? There’s different types of Pokémon
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? -- A buccaneer.
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. how a about you gobble DEEZ nuts.
How does you make a baby astronaut sleep? You rock-it
How do you make a pink smurf
You peel the skin off
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. ...just kidding- - none. They can't change anything.
how many trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb? none, trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
A guy runs into a bar, and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
Sketchy dude: you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die Me: if i push it more than once do i get more money Sketchy dude: yes but more people die Me: *rapidly pushes button* this is how you solve world hunger. Sketchy dude: ... wtf, your insane. Me: ...
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How do you know a hippie is on her period? Her socks are missing. How do you know she's off? Her socks are tye-dye.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
