Hows jokes

Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?

A: He rapes D minor.

On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?

Why did God make men?

Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...

How do orphans have a family reunion?

They use a Ouija board.

How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!

What did the little boy say to the fat man?

How many Japs did you get?

How did Stephen Hawking die?

They unplugged the wifi.

How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.

How do you know when a football player has been to jail?

When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.

A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.

A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."

I like my men how I like my coffee...

WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!

Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.

How did the rich save the poor?

They didn't let them in the Titanic.

Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?

I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.

I said to Google, "How do I kill someone?" Then I got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front. Before you click it, it says, "If you want to kill someone, we are the right guys." How the f*** did this get in Google?

How do you get away with rape and incest in California?

Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.