Hows

Hows jokes

Fan

  • Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"

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  • Orphan

  • How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

    Gun

  • Q: How do you punish a blind person?

    A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

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  • Husband

  • Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

    Wife: Aww, thanks.

    Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

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  • Music

  • You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

    But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

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  • Woman

  • So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

    The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

    After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

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  • Sleep

  • What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

    Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

    Orphan

  • How to Make an Orphan cry

    Step 1: Talk about Home.

    Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.

    Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!

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