Hows jokes
"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
"m m, ,m ,mbjbjb" is how she spelled.
How many thumbs down can this joke get?
Joke: Runescape, mustard, tits, Pamela Anderson.
Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!
Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
Memes
This is how @The Ugly Rats cousin Looks like
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.
In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
How's your day going?
Shut up, I didn't ask.
Use code tiko#teamfish
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.