How do you call a cop?
Through the phone.
(My puns are bad)
Hows Jokes
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
How do trees find each other? They log-ate!
How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
