Hows jokes
How's your day going?
Shut up, I didn't ask.
Use code tiko#teamfish
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
Memes
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
How I talk: Hello
How Stitch talks: HeLlO.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
How does a non-binary ninja slay enemies?
They/Them.