Hows jokes

Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?

It's ok, he didn't either!

Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.

Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!

How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!

A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?

Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.

How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?

Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?

Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.

How did she survive?

Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.

"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

"m m, ,m ,mbjbjb" is how she spelled.

How many thumbs down can this joke get?

Joke: Runescape, mustard, tits, Pamela Anderson.

Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!

Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?

How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?

Poker face.

How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?

God fucked her.

I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.

In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.

How do you f**k a sheep?

Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.

I aced my poker test...

My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...

Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.

Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?

Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.

How's your day going?

Shut up, I didn't ask.

Use code tiko#teamfish

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You-neak up on it.

How old is a blue plane?

Blue.

How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.

How do you get Dick from Richard?

You ask nicely.