Hows jokes
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Here's how to piss off all of North America. All the United States is, is South Canadia.
A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.
boss: "We have to let you go."
surgeon: "I protest innocence."
boss: "How?"
surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."
boss: "Get out!"
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?
Me: More than you!
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
How do rappers communicate underwater?
They drop some sick flow-tation.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.