Hows jokes
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!