Hows jokes
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?
Perform fellatio on gay men.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
Memes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
How is the weather down there?
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
How did Hitler get killed?
With a "NEIN" millimeter.