Hows

Hows jokes

Obama

    • What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?

    No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.

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    • Parrot

    • I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

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    • Lightbulb

    • How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

    Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

    Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

    (mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

    Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

    All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

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    • Hows memes

    Author

    • FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

    Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.

    Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.

    Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.

    Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.

    Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.

    Oh God By Dixie Rect.

    Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.

    Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.

    Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.

    How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.

    Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.

    The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.

  • 0

    • Hotdog

    • One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

    Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

    My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."

  • 1

    • Degree

    • How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

    199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

    Get?

    Gun

    • Q: How do you punish a blind person?

    A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

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    • Sin

    • There was a man named Matt that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, "I am here to tell you my sins." He was all for it and said, "Go ahead."

    Matt, "Father, last night I almost cheated on my wife."

    Priest, "How so?"

    Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything, just rubbed each other, that's all."

    Priest, "RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! For your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box!"

    Matt, "Okay, I promise not to see her again."

    Then Matt walks out the door.

    Priest, "Hey! I saw you! You didn't put any money in the donation box!!"

    Matt, "Yes I did. I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in."

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    • Wife

    • H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?

    W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.

    *Later that day*

    W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?

    H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.

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