Hows jokes
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?
Perform fellatio on gay men.
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
How do you call an American bee?
USB.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
Uranus be like, "Oh look, I'm Uranus. Imagine how disgusted I feel."