Hows jokes
Hi, I'm Nate. How are you guys doing?
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All of them are married!
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Memes
Me at a restaurant
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Twin: Hey twin, how's it going?
Twin 2: Weird, twin. Bye.
Twin: Not funny, dude.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
You are in the airway, how funny!
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."