Hows jokes

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

How do Taliban parents feed their babies?

"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"

How did 10 die?

Because it was in between 9 and 11.

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!

How is a woman like a road?

They both have manholes.

How do lions 🦁 like their steak?

"Roar!"

What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.

Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?

3 minutes later:

Why didn't I listen to the strong one?

Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.

How many balls do you have on your body?

2. Your butt.

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

Hello, everyone, how is your day today?

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.