Hows jokes
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
How to write a joke?
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."