Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
How does NASA organise a party?
They ‘PLANET’.
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
