Howe jokes
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
Memes
Relatable
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)