Howe jokes

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

Do trees pee?

How else do we have No. 1 pencils?

My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"

Me "OH NO" 💀

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.

How do you fuck a cow?

Find the nearest Karen.

Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.

How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until their parents come home.

how to solve world hunger and over population?

Cannibalism.

Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.

How do you blindfold a woman?

Put a windshield in front of them.