Howe jokes
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
Memes
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
How did Michael Jackson get away with it?
He's a smooth criminal.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.