Howe jokes
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
Memes
A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
How did Michael Jackson get away with it?
He's a smooth criminal.
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.