Howe jokes

How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.

How do you disrespect an Asian?

Give them driving lessons.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.

How do you get a retard out of a tree?

Wave at them.

How do you punish a blind person?

Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.

How do you piss off a color blind person?

Give them a Rubik's cube.

How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?

Take off the wheels!

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up like an altar boy.

How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

How do stars die?

Normally, an overdose.

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?

They have a dot in the middle of the head.

The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"

The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"

The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"

The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"

The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

How do you punish Helen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.