Howe jokes
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
Memes
How do stars die?
Normally, an overdose.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"