Howe jokes
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
Memes
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.