Howe jokes
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
Memes
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
How to not exist: Kys.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.