Howe jokes
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
Memes
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!