How To jokes
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!