How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?
Perform fellatio on gay men.
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
