How To

How To jokes

Leg day

When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

Fellatio

What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.

Orphan

Why do orphans not know how to spell?

Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡

Difference

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

Priest

Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?

He wanted to be able to finger A minor.

Memes

Dollar

Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”

Hand Job

How to give a good hand job?

Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.

None of you ever touch my penis.

Comedian

These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.

2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!

Difference

You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?

Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.

Expense

I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.

Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.

Deep Throat

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."

Inspector

Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?

Orphan

How to get rich:

Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.

Step 2: Knock out the orphan.

Step 3: Cut open the orphan.

Step 4: Well there [are] organs.

Step 5: Do it again.

And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.

Orphan

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

Cake

How to make emo cakes:

Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!

Plane

"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."

Relationship

How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

FEW!!!!!!!