How To jokes
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!