How To jokes

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?

He wanted to be able to finger A minor.

Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”

How to give a good hand job?

Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.

None of you ever touch my penis.

Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.

These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.

2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!

You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?

Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."

Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?

How to get rich:

Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.

Step 2: Knock out the orphan.

Step 3: Cut open the orphan.

Step 4: Well there [are] organs.

Step 5: Do it again.

And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.

Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.

How to make emo cakes:

Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!

"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."

How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

FEW!!!!!!!

What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?

Perform fellatio on gay men.

How to Make an Orphan cry

Step 1: Talk about Home.

Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.

Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!

Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.