me : hey! do you know how to tie a knot? person : yea, why? me : cause I need help tying this noose :)
How to surprise a blind man; put a plunger in the toilet :)
How to make an orphan die
Tell then to yell until their folks come home.
How to you know if your making a caesar salad ? Stabbing it 23 times
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They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter. Apparently when the helicopter caught fire Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it”
How to become a monkey
Put a red dot on your forehead
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi” The bartender says “ sorry but in order to get takeout you have to know how to speak a foreign language” Poipole says “Pika!”
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How to get a 1000 followers on instagram?
Run through africa with a bottle of water.
why do orphans not know how to spell.
because know one likes them dump people.🤭🤡
When your legs forget how to work after leg day *I can't climb the stairs* Michael Myers right behind me* Runs like I'm a track star*
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What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington? I know how to use an exercise band.
Chuck Norris gets paid 2m dollars a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth”
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor
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These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian and I know how to BAKEon breakfast
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy
You know the difference between happy tailgators and angry tailgators?
Happy tailgators know how to throw a party.
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