This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What happens when you combine candy and dick... That creepy guy down the street!
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the fathers back. Keeping calm he tells the sons, "well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled then passed out from pain.
Why arent orphans good at monopoly?
They dont know what a house is
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man gets an email from his doctor
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tommarrow"
The man thinks to himself "oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
How can toilet paper decorate your house
Shit sticks everywhere
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in, and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said,"Drama queen!"
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours? Girl: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash and I did . The next day mom asked me where is your sister and I said a garbage truck took her. Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left
What goes up and down but stays in the same place? Stairs.
what do you call an orphan no homeo
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant. So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
my girlfriends dog died so i got her a new one in replacement and she went off on me and yelled
"What am i supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
